Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse and violence currently affects approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men at some point in their life. On average 2 women each week are murdered by their partner or ex-partner.

Get help now

• in immediate danger - 999
• women: 0808 800 0340 (24/7)
• men: 0808 801 0327

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse and violence can occur between parents/carers, couples in same sex relationships, and between young people, regardless of their ethnicity, gender, religion, race, sexuality, class, or disability.

Domestic Abuse also includes other forms of abuse such as female genital mutilation (FGM), forced marriage (FM), and ‘honour’ based violence (HBV), that are perpetrated primarily by family members, and often with multiple perpetrators.

The Home Office defines domestic violence as:

"Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality."

Their definition goes on to say domestic abuse and violence can include but is not limited to:

• psychological and/or emotional abuse
• physical abuse
• sexual abuse
• financial abuse
• harassment
• online or digital abuse
• coercive control.

What sorts of domestic abuse and domestic violence are there?

What is controlling behaviour?

Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

What is coercive behaviour?

Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

What is emotional or psychological abuse?

Emotional and psychological abuse can include:

• name calling
• forced to stay away from friends and family
• feeling isolated
• forced to stay at home
• not allowed access to mobile phone
• having mobile phone constantly screened
• no access to internet
• not allowed to work
• being monitored all of the time.

What is financial abuse?

• access to bank accounts being withheld
• money being controlled in terms of how much you can have and when
• prevented from working and earning own money
• abuser running up debt in survivor's name
• prevented from being part of decision making relating to purchasing items or other financial decisions.

What is physical abuse?

• hit
• punched
• slapped
• kicked
• restrained
• tied up
• burnt
• drowned
• pinched
• strangled
• suffocated
• stabbed
• hair pulling
• hit with objects such as saucepan, telephone, remote control, knives, forks, spoons, plates. 

What is sexual abuse?

• forced or coerced to engage in sexual acts (this could be with a partner, ex-partner or third party)
• forced or coerced to have sexual events filmed or photographed
• forced or coerced to into pregnancy
• forced not to use contraception
• kept pregnant
• intentionally given sexually transmitted diseases.

How to stay safe

It is important that you complete safety planing whether you are staying in the relationship, fleeing the relationship or have already ended the relationship.

Staying safe in the relationship

• If an argument occurs, try and move to a space where it is low risk. Try to avoid the bathroom, garage and kitchen
• be prepared to call 999 during an incident. Keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times if possible
• identify a code word in which you can use with your children for them to contact 999 or alert for help
• if possible, identify one or more neighbours or friends which you can tell about what is going on – so they are able to call for help if they hear a disturbance from your home.

Fleeing the relationship

• If safe to do so, start to put important documents for yourself and any children you may away in a safe place. Important documents can include passport, birth certificate, driver’s License, National Insurance Number, credit cards and any additional financial information
• place important items/ essentials in a safe place packed away so you are able to pick these up in a hurry. A safe place may also be a friend's or relative's house. Important items and essentials may include medication, keys, emergency money, pictures and sentimental items, several changes of clothes for you and any children and basic toiletries
• identify a safe place where you can go to. This may be by approaching housing providers to discuss housing options. You can find out about housing options in Ashfield or get advice if you are at risk of homelessness because of domestic abuse. 

How to keep safe when you have left the relationship

• Change your mobile phone number and only give out your new mobile number to people you trust
• if you have remained in the property of where the perpetrator lived or the perpetrator has discovered your new address, ask us to make a referral for you to the Sanctuary Scheme. This will enable to appropriate safety measures to be put into place for your property.
• if the perpetrator is aware of your daily routine for example which route you take any children to school or the route you take to go to work, consider taking different routes so the perpetrator is not aware
• if the perpetrator is aware of any up and coming appointments you have, re-schedule the appointments if possible
• obtain legal advice regarding obtaining a restraining order or non-molestation order or any other orders against the perpetrator to maximise your safety.

How to get help

In an emergency always call the police on 999. 

We also have help available to confidentiality support survivors of domestic abuse no matter what stage they are at their journey whether they are still in the relationship with the perpetrator, planning on leaving the relationships or already left the relationship.

We can provide support and sign post for other complex needs which may arise due to domestic abuse such as mental health, substance misuse, housing and many more. We will risk assessment each situation and ensure that a comprehensive safety plan is in place for the survivor.

We are also raising awareness regarding domestic abuse within the community to ensure that the community whether this would be residents or professionals are aware of domestic abuse, what potential signs to look out for and support agencies available within the Ashfield area.

You can also get help from: 

• Juno Women’s Aid (women, children, teenagers): 0808 800 0340  
• Equation (male support): 0115 960 5556
• National Domestic Violence (24 Hour helpline number):0808 2000 247
• Mens Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
• Domestic Abuse Case Worker: 07778 517544
• Ashfield District Council: 01623 457 345
• NIDAS (Nottinghamshire Independent Domestic Abuse Services): 01623 683 250
• Galop (LGBT+): 0800 999 5428
• National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
• Samaritans: 116 123
• Refs for Pets (if you need your pets housing if you leave): 07971 337264